Yon bonny road
And see ye na yon bonny road,
That winds about the ferny brae?
That is the way to fair Elfland,
Where you and I this night maun gae.
But, Thomas, ye maun hauld your tongue,
Whatever you may hear or see;
For if ye speak word in Elfin land,
Ye'll ne'er win back to your ain countrie!"
Though occasionally a rhymer and often a doubter, my name is not Thomas.
But I did go to Elfinland. And I never won back to my own country. (Indeed in latter years I have come to suspect that I no longer know the way back: my country has become imaginary.)
You must judge for yourselves whether I have kept silence.
Elfinland and its kissing cousins Utopia and Dystopia are where I found politics. Of course they are not the only places, just as there is no one beginning. How could they have been? As a child my life stood frozen before the witching hour -- whether morning or dusk, it was always three minutes to midnight. In such circumstances, one finds politics, despair, or both.
That winds about the ferny brae?
That is the way to fair Elfland,
Where you and I this night maun gae.
But, Thomas, ye maun hauld your tongue,
Whatever you may hear or see;
For if ye speak word in Elfin land,
Ye'll ne'er win back to your ain countrie!"
Though occasionally a rhymer and often a doubter, my name is not Thomas.
But I did go to Elfinland. And I never won back to my own country. (Indeed in latter years I have come to suspect that I no longer know the way back: my country has become imaginary.)
You must judge for yourselves whether I have kept silence.
Elfinland and its kissing cousins Utopia and Dystopia are where I found politics. Of course they are not the only places, just as there is no one beginning. How could they have been? As a child my life stood frozen before the witching hour -- whether morning or dusk, it was always three minutes to midnight. In such circumstances, one finds politics, despair, or both.
One of the first places I found in Elfinland was the vast expanse of Middle Earth. A traveller embarks on a dangerous, hopeless journey, to renounce something that he can neither live with nor live without. His journey is long and wearisome, and in the end he fails in intent and would also have failed in deed -- except that earlier on, he'd once managed to get something right. And by God, Tolkien sticks to his guns. When push comes to shove, Frodo does not survive the Ring and its loss. Means and ends matter enormously in Middle-Earth -- and despite its processions of kings and nobles, the end sought is that of Empire. Finally, among other things, it's a powerful love story -- and I don't just mean Aragorn and Arwen. Why do you think it hurts so when Sam marries Elanor and Frodo goes West?
Now let us take ship with C. J. Cherryh, out towards the Beyond, to the claustrophobic confines of Downbelow Station embroiled in war. A closed system, lurching from one crisis to the next and never ever quite recovering its footing. Union on one side, Mazziani's 'Company Fleet' on the other: Downbelow Station stuck in the middle. And Signy Mallory of Norway -- callous, calculating and morally compromised to the hilt, yet in the end unable to abandon principle entirely, unable not to play the traitor.
If we venture further afield, light aeons past Union space, perhaps we would find ourselves on the fringes of the (anarchic? socialist?) Culture, Iain M. Bank's licentiously sprawling, permissive, promiscuous and at times whimsical civilisation. Depending on where you stand, its perfection is either profoundly Utopian or Dystopian. Either set after the beginning of history (in the Marxist sense) or long beyond its demise. For myself, I suspect the former, but can one believe its account of itself? Has not the pen been much in the Culture's hand?
Fall through two mirrors backwards and you might find yourself in Neveryon: a world that is a reflection, but then emphatically not a reflection of our pasts and presents. Although I had discovered Samuel Delany's short stories (and who could argue with a title like "We in some strange power's employ move on a vigorous line") and essays (read his introduction to Neil Gaiman's A Game of You) some time ago, it was not until last year that I discovered Neveryona.
As Nanette would say, go and read the whole thing.
One finds many things in Elfinland and its kin, but contrary to popular report, escape is not among them.
And as for winning back to your own country? Journey long enough: it will no longer be your own.
22 Comments:
Nanette -- you may not have caught the thought yet, but you've caught something. I'm really curious, what are you going to write about them?
DTF -- good for you. I'm heading over to check it out.
Still writing here (did I mention I'm a really slow writer?) -- might post it here first when I'm done to take it for a bit of a test drive. I'm having lots of those 'hmmm. is that really what I mean?' moments.
Okay Nanette, now I too am completely intrigued.... As yet, I am not willing, tho' open to persuasion, to go the route of "born that way" but I also totally agree with your point that upbringing or labels like "liberal" don't quite explain the sense of being part and yet apart.
All right--not trying to nag you to hurry up your thought or anything....
poco
dove,
may I mention how very flattered i am by your sig line? So, now I need you to comment promiscuously, so i can ignore what you say and just feast my eyes on the sig line. :-))
poco
Nanette,
re. Manny's site, yes -- that's something I think I've noticed too -- and I don't think it's coincidence. I think it (and also some the more dispersed group of blogs that radiate to and from it) became something of a place to regroup after the cartoons.
There was a set of essays that came out many years ago now about immigrant experience in New Zealand. It was called something like 'I hold it in my hands both ways.' While I remember little about the essays, that phrase stuck in my head. It seems to me that it's about having more than one way of being, but no single way of being that is straightforward. If that makes any sense at all.
Nanette -- you, like DTF, are more than welcome to comment here on whatever you like. I am very far from feeling hijacked!
Seriously, it's so excellent to show up and find conversation happening about well -- in a way, what makes for solidarity, no?
I love this conversation. Thanks for letting me listen in. (I'm too sleepy to actually participate)
:)
Nanette, I love your post--especially the (in)visible wall metaphor--a wall that seems eminently jumpable and non-existent, or impossibly high.
And I completely agree with you that seeing an unscalable wall or an easy step-over is not the result of any deliberate choice, any rational pondering of pros and cons. Either there really is no wall, or at most a minor inconvenience that one has to endure or one will be unable to live with oneself; or there is this insuperable difficulty, one that can be seized upon to excuse one's return to the convenient and the familiar and the comfortable. The highness of the wall enables a sop to the conscience--one can still live with oneself --it provides a reason, as you say, "concepts of country and borders and ways of being" that justifies turning away from those that need your solidarity.
I also went and read DTF's Miep Gies Gene diary and loved it. Its a great diary and I see that you both use the concept of the mutant gene to explain how some people see the wall and some don't.
This is my problem--the mutant gene concept is great as a shorthand way of referring to this--but it carries within it notions that make me uncomfortable. If it is genetic, then we have no control over it--not just in terms of deliberate control as in deliberate choice--but even in terms of changing structures of living and being and thinking and reading and listening that might enable more people to not see the wall. If it is a gene none of these activities will matter since it is all pre-determined.
I know you didn't mean any of this--maybe you just meant the reference to the mutant gene to suggest that we make choices without being totally conscious of how these choices get made. I prefer to think that the answer to not-knowing why a path is chosen is the result of innumerable cultural influences--some that we recognize, some that make an impact without our full awareness, and credit our actions to those unknown words said or written at those unknown times, listened to or read at those unknown places.
Not sure if this is making any sense--but I am loving this discussion.
poco
I think I'm with you poco in wanting to wanting to put this in the terrain of choices rather than inherent characteristics, and for broadly the same reasons.
I think it's to do with a myriad of little, often apparently trivial, inconsequential choices, some entirely hypothetical, not always even enacted in the world, but framed internally in terms of 'in this situation, what should I do?'
Others of them things like which books one lets worm their way into one's head, so that one is not the same person after reading that one was before, which is, I guess a little of what I was thinking of when I wrote this piece.
Sometimes I think one can look back and think one spies a choice that mattered, but more often, not.
But each of those myriad little choices shapes future choices. It makes some things subtly more doable and others subtly less so.
Paths diverging in a wood and all that.
I don't think Miep Gies made her choice in isolation. By the time she came to choose to hide the Franks, I think the die -- if not cast -- was already loaded, by the thousand thousand smaller, more obscure choices that she had already made. And of course every day that she provided help would its withdrawal more and more unthinkable.
In an interview , she says of her choice that it wasn't a choice:
"My decision to help Otto was because I saw no alternative. I could foresee many sleepless nights and an unhappy life if I refused. And that was not the kind of failure I wanted for myself. Permanent remorse about failing to do your human duty, in my opinion, can be worse than losing your life"
Well, that html tag didn't quite work out as planned. I guess there's a preview function for a reason!
"Has this ever happened to you? You are secure in a thought or belief that you've arrived at by study, discussion or upbringing, in a group of people also secure in that same thought or belief. Then someone (most likely outside the group) comes up and presents an entirely new way of looking at the situation, that you'd never even thought of, and your immediate reaction is "oh... yeah, that makes much more sense (is more just, fair, merciful, etc), how simple this all is now."
I had a friend in the States. Early on in our acquaintance, he'd show up to union meetings and say something -- usually something rather pointed and confrontational -- and my immediate response would be to think "How ridiculous." Or "That's just not true." And I'd go away and chew on it reluctantly and begrudgingly for a couple of weeks and after a lot of chewing, would conclude that actually it wasn't ridiculous and was true.
Later on, when we'd become friends, I told him this and he found it amusing.
So yeah, I've sort of had this experience, but it can take longer than it should for things to sink in.
An ability to learn, and also an ability to change one's mind?
It seems to me that the ability to change (and maybe an internal need to change?) in general is mixed up in what both you and DTF are describing.
No -- you're quite right Nanette. None of it does preclude the idea that some of it is inherent -- it's just that I don't want it to be inherent, which is an entirely different kettle of fish. (An odd saying that -- I've certainly never put fish in a kettle).
At that union meeting? Just me, I think, which smacks of hubris but is true. At that time there were two people really fighting for that issue: I became the third. Because we were fortunately situated within that union, we did most (though not all) of the speaking at meetings, bargaining, throwing hissy fits, etc. required to keep it on the agenda. At different times a bit later on there were up to a dozen or so people doing supportive things that didn't require speaking out publicly to the same extent.
But there were about 1200 members in that local.
On the one hand it made me realise that I had more power to change things than I had thought. But on the other it made me realise that a lot of my friendships went thus far and no farther.
And now I'm rambling ...
I don't think it's that most of them meant things to happen the way they did, I think it was that genuinely didn't see what all the fuss was about, but try as we might, we couldn't find a way of getting that across. Which brings us back to that gap, that business of letting ideas in, I guess.
This was a fantastic comment thread, just needed to acknowledge the brilliance shown. :)
Nanette,
you asked if it had ever happened that I and my friends were comfortable in one way of thinking and then were challenged by someone else. And like dove, my initial response more often than not has been resistance to the new thinking.
I personally think my resistance stems mainly from laziness; I have done the reading and talking and discussing and we are all comfortable with our position and then I am being asked to do all of this again, when all i want to do is read some trash novel or go to sleep.:-) Plus who wants to acknowledge that the position we held was not as fair and just as it should have been?
So I have to admit that my immediate reaction on being shown a better way is never one of open-hearted welcome, but of irritation and orneriness. Takes me at least a couple of days of grousing and grouching and forcing myself to think through the arguments presented before I can come on board. So I guess I am missing that gene, hence my desire to see the ability to cross the wall as not being inherent, but as a slow and painful inculcation.
poco
Thankyou Man Eegee! But what's that past tense doing :)
And thanks again Nanette for starting this discussion here -- it's certainly given me plenty to think about in the last few days.
Poco:
"Plus who wants to acknowledge that the position we held was not as fair and just as it should have been?"
Noone. Because they are then required to admit that they have thought or done evil (which means they have things to regret -- I've often thought it odd that it was somehow considered virtuous to have no regrets in life -- if anything it's evidence that one has failed to learn a damn thing).
And having made the admission, they must now either change their lives, or else continue to do and think evil in the knowledge that they are doing so. And all of this over and over again, of course.
Well it seems to me that some respond with a kind of nihilism which expresses itself either as dull apathy (I'd say hopeless apathy, but I think that hope is often a deceiver) or as a kind of revelling in evil a la Lyndie England. In a way I think they're the two sides of a single coin, though I'd have to do some work to capture that thought.
And some respond with something that looks a lot like nihilism (and who knows maybe it is just a new and improved brand in the end) and think something along the lines of 'corrupt, rotten, compromised to the core, yep that's me. But.' They are seldom a happy lot, and they are certainly not the Miep Gies of the world, but they're somewhere there in resistance. And I suspect that part of what lets them resist (to the extent that they manage it) is that they do not think of themselves as innocent or good and that affects how they weigh their choices.
And doubtless there are many other kinds of response too, some of which are those made by the Miep Gies’s of the world.
But Alex's particular undoing, I think, is that she never gets as far as the acknowledgement, because to do that would be to lose her innocence – her goodness, and that is too central to her sense of who she is to be easily abandoned And in many other contexts, that self-concept of goodness does lead her to do virtuous things – Alex probably volunteers at the local shelter and does all kinds of things to make the world a better place – but it also means that she doesn’t have – well I think I recognise it sometimes when I see it, but it’s hard to put words to – a kind of steeliness, of obduracy.
Anyway, were there a an Olympic sport called waffling, I suspect I’d be up there in the sporting world.
Well I think I'll try introducing Alex this weekend and see what happens.
hmmmm -- much to ponder.
So I have heard. You know, no matter what else might happen in my life, it's a matter of considerable comfort to me that I can wake up every morning secure in the knowledge that I am not Britney Spears.
I don't have much to contribute here mainly because my brain seems totally fried. But have to say that dtf's "doo-doo head" reference and dove's gratitude on not being Britney Spears had me giggling helplessly.
Nanette, I think I am understanding your point more clearly now. The people who never manage to make the leap, who as you say, "lack any ability to hear at all, or to change...." The people for whom there is this one group, whichever it is, with whom there is no possibility of solidarity.
Hmmm, I'd still think that that is the one group they were taught to fear and see as so completely Other from infancy onwards that the resistance against that group has become almost inherent.
Oh! ductapefatwa, I guess I need to come out; as far as the medical and legal regimes go, I am classified as a woman ;-)
And dove, no I am not the anon in the other thread--you made the right call. (gotta work harder on figuring out blogger when my brain is not so fried, so that such confusions do not arise again)
poco
Didn't think you could be poco -- I'm writing a response to that one's latest, which is taking for-bloody-ever because I'm such a slow writer. Ack.
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